Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Taxi
Director: Tim Story
Genre: Action/Comedy
.
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Taxi is a remake of a trilogy from French director Luc Besson that became a huge hit over there in the frog-eating country. Some tall Israeli probably needed a script so he stole the script from Besson and came up with a plagiarized work with a few changes (they do that a lot in Hollywood). In the original movie, the cops' mom is adorable and cute while in this one she is a stupid drunk. In the original, The Queen was played by a guy, Sami Naceri, a slick yet charming new-coming actor. In the original, the humor was fresh and hilarious, the action was nicely filmed (especially the car chases) and the music was terrific. On the one, I gotta agree that the French made it better, sorry if I broke some Rethuglican's heart (if they have one).
What do John the Baptist & Winnie the Pooh have in common? Their middle name. HAHAHA. Thought it was funny? Me neither. Well guess what, the jokes in Taxi ain't more evolved than the one I wrote. I think the guy who wrote the script translated the French jokes word by word, that's why it doesn't make any sense to me. Or maybe he has a retarded pre-K sense of humor. Hey guys, big news, some things are not meant to be translated.
Let's cut what's left of suspense, this movie sucked, instead of wasting your illegal-earned money renting it, I'll be open to any donation.
C'mon, in every action movie where the screen-time is shared between two totally opposite protagonist, whether it's Chris Tucker & Jacky Chan, Mel Gibson & Danny Glover or Will Smith & Martin Lawrence, the key of success was an undeniable chemistry and loads of charisma. Qualities that both Queen Latifah and Jimmy Fallon seem to cruelly lack. I heard that Fallon was pretty funny back in the days in The Saturday Night Live show. Don't know, never heard of him. What I can tell you though is that his performance in this flick can be compared to the one a geek would put out in a High School talent show. And what the hell is Queen Latifah trying to prove with her fake-ass ghetto attitude trying to be all gullible??? She just won the award for the most obnoxious actor ever.
You know what else? The supposedly tuned car looks like a prototype from the 60s (And who is the DUMBASS who chose a Ford Crown Victoria to be a racing car?!?), the rest of the cast was invisible, music was soporific, NO wait, the action was soporific. And then, nothing, because I fell asleep and woke up before the end of the movie. Yes it is that stupid. Peace out.
23:50 Posted in Movies & TV | Permalink | Comments (1) | Email this | Tags: Movies
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