Rui-Long Monico - Geneva // USA Conexion - humor_jokes

The significance of Flags by Icario Doria

noreply@blogspirit.com (rmonico) — Wed, 28 Sep 2005 18:45:00 +0200

THE SIGNIFICANCE OF FLAGS by Icario Doria

If you too ever wandered what was the significance of the US flag, take a look at the pix cuz I found it.

This flag is one of the piece of Icario Doria's campaign "Meet the World.

Pretty slick and cool at the same time.

Found those pix on this website.

What people don't admit...

noreply@blogspirit.com (rmonico) — Fri, 09 Sep 2005 04:25:00 +0200

Found that post on Cheeze's blogspirit. I changed a couple things here and there. It's HUMOR guys, don't sue me or crash my car. If you have any suggestion to better those scientific findings, please drop them in the comment section.

Truths that WASPs, Rednecks, Blacks, and Asians know but that Latinos won't admit:

01. Jesus is not an appropriate name for your son.
02. Buttoning just the top button of your shirt is a bad fashion statement.
03. Giving alcohol to your toddler is not recommended.
04. A two passenger car can't hold 7 people.
05. 15 speakers and 3 subwoofers in a car is too much.
06. A curandero is a folk healer not a doctor.
07. "Jump out and run" is not in any insurance policies.
08. It's OK to use condoms.
09. Pre-arranged marriages are a thing of the past.
10. The Pope is not God.

Truths that WASPs, Blacks, Asians & Latinos know but that Rednecks won't admit:

01. Taking a shower won't burn your skin.
02. A goat is not a domestic animal.
03. Cheating on your sister with your cousin is not OK even though you keep it in the family.
04. NASCAR races are not intellectually challenging.
05. Going on the Jerry Springer Show doesn't make you a celebrity.
06. Owning a big junkyard shouldn't be a topic to brag about.
07. Finishing Junior High in less than 7 years doesn't make you a nerd.
08. Taking your date out with your dad's tractor won't impress her.
09. The back of your truck is not exactly a honeymoon destination.
10. Drinking beers at Church is not OK.

Truths that WASPs, Rednecks, Asians & Latinos know but that Blacks won't admit:

01. Tupac is a rapper, not God.
02. Teeth don't need diamonds.
03. Your pastor doesn't hold all the truths.
04. Rosa Parks did nothing more than sit her black ass down because she was tired.
05. Church doesn't require expensive clothes.
06. Your gold rimz shouldn't be worth more than your car.
07. A ring on each finger is too much.
08. "Mothafucka" is a curse word.
09. O.J. did it.
10. Selling crack doesn't make you a business man.

Truths that WASPs, Blacks, Rednecks, & Latinos know but that Asians won't admit:

01. A GPA of 3.9 doesn't make you an underachiever.
02. Dogs are meant to be pets, not a fancy restaurant dish.
03. Eating rice 4 times a day is not a healthy diet.
04. If you are not eating if you are not hungry doesn't mean that you are sick.
05. The peace sign is outdated.
06. It's OK to be out of College and still be single.
07. Taking pictures of strangers is just weird.
08. You can't drive.
09. There is more to life than money.
10. Dress and act like you came out of a manga doesn't make you sexy.

Truths that Asians, Blacks, Rednecks, & Latinos know but that WASPs won't admit:

01. Elvis is dead.
02. Jesus wasn't white.
03. Rap IS music.
04. French kissing your dog is not cute.
05. Skinny is not sexy.
06. Having your children curse you out in public is not normal.
07. Spanking your child won't traumatize him.
08. Thomas Jefferson had black children.
09. N'Sync is nowhere to be compared to the Jackson 5.
10. Dressing at the Gap doesn't make you a fashion expert.

Joke: The Mexican Genie

noreply@blogspirit.com (rmonico) — Thu, 01 Sep 2005 01:01:38 +0200

A Mexican lady was walking along the bank of the Rio Grande River when she stumbled upon an old empty cerveza bottle. She picked it up, rubbed it, and SNAP!!! a Genie appeared. She talked with him awhile then the Genie told her he would grant her ONE wish. She said to the Genie:
"I heard from mi prima that I could get three wishes if I ever found a Genie."
The Genie then said,
"Oh no, sorry, esa. Three-wish genies are story-tale myth. I'm a ONE-WISH Genie, Uno, no mas! So...que quieres?"
The lady didn't hesitate. She said:
"I want Peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other and I want all the Arabs to love Jews and Gringos and I want all the Jews and Gringos to love the Arabs.It will bring world peace and
harmony." she continued.
The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed:
"Orale! BE REASONABLE!.....Those fools have a pedo that goes back thousands of years, chale! I'm out of shape after being in that bottle for five hundred years. I'm good, but NOT THAT GOOD!!! I don't think it can be done. PLEASE make another wish and please be reasonable."
The lady thought for a minute and said:
"Well, I've never been able to find the right man. I want a Mexican boyfriend....You know, one that DOESN'T DRINK ALCOHOL, nice y fun, likes cumbias, and helps with cleaning la casa. I want him to be GREAT in bed and gets along con mi familia, and is FAITHFUL and doesn't throw chingasos at me. That's what I wish for....a good Mexican man!"
The Genie let out a long sigh, shook his cabeza and said:
"Chingada vieja!!!......Let me see that pinche map again."

Online Wish List

noreply@blogspirit.com (rmonico) — Fri, 12 Aug 2005 01:15:00 +0200

Recently I have received 6 mariage offers, a box of chocolate cereal , 21 child support claims, a pink shirt, school books and other stuff like that... wtf?!?...

Ladies and ladies, if you wanna make me happy you gotta do betta than that. Here is my online wish list so you'll have a pretty good idea of what I need:

1. A badass family

2. Be on the cover of fashion magazine Vanity Fair

3. A machine that could read into a woman's mind

~~4. Friends that will be there no matter what~~

~~5. A jean from Japan Rags Denim~~

6. A baby blue Infinity G35 with golden 20 inches rimz

7. A trip to New York

8. A barbershop-style razor

9. Date Jessica Alba

10. A second chance with Jessica Alba

11. A trip to Barcelona

~~12. A camera that could fit into my backpocket~~

13. Spend a week in Cancún

14. A therapy for my "weather sensible" condition

~~15. A cellphone with a mirror on it~~

16. A king size bed made of silk from Pakistan

17. A trip to California

18. iBook Laptop

19. A shirt that says "In love with myself"

20. The Devil wears Prada by Lauren Weisberger

Evil Santa Claus

noreply@blogspirit.com (rmonico) — Sat, 06 Aug 2005 20:00:00 +0200

Dear Santa Claus,
For 3 year I have been asking you for a firefighter truck, can you bring me one this year?
Thanks.
Luis

Dear Luis,
To make it up to you of not giving you this firefighter truck, I will set your house on fire while you are sleeping so that you'll have all the firefighter trucks that you want.
Wish you a good night.
Santa Claus

Dear Santa Claus,
I would like a bike, an Xbox, a train, a doll, a pony, a dog, a guitar and some Pokemons.
I love you.
Eusebe

Dear Eusebe,
Why don't you just ask me to give you my credit card number while I'm dancing the Macarena, asshole.
Beside that, for your parents to give you a name that stupid, I must not be the only one who doesn't like you.
Santa Claus

Dear Santa Claus,
Under my Christmas tree, I left cookies for you and carrots for your reindeers.
I love you.
Suzanne

Dear Suzanne,
Cookies give me diarrhea and the carrots makes my rein-deers fart on me while I ride my sleigh.
I you really want to kiss my ass, give me a Tequila bottle, an ounce of good weed and ask your mother to wear that nice red thong that your daddy gave her before divorcing her.
I love you.
Santa Claus

Dear Santa Claus,
Please, please, please, please, please can you please bring me a dog please, please, please, please, please.
Please I am begging you.
Paquito

Dear Paquito,
This kind of annoying whining bust my balls. It surely works with your parents considering that you were adopted and that you are blind but me, I don't give a shit.
Screw you, you'll have the same striped shirt than last year that way you learn, you lil bitch.
Santa Claus